I wish I could teleport
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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