we have officially lost it.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
3 2 1 whiskey
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
