I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
