He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
