That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
