Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Are we in a gay sports bar?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
