I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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