Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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