I wannas sexs uuuuu
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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