i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
