her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
