The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
