I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
