Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
