:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
