i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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