There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
