White coat. Heels.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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