history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize