he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just had sex on a roof
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
