Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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