covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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