I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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