It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
