The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize