Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
whose parrot is this?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
