He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
