The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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