Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ketchup is God's man juice
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
