He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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