I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
