so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
