Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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