OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize