Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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