we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this will be a night to untag.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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