I like to think it a success when the cops are called
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
