No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
