Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize