So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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