Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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