I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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