I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
