Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I AM VODKA MAN
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
