I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
