wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
