yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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