guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
