I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
