You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
