4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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