I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
