but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
