how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
