who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
