obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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