respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
