Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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