Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
