Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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