I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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