ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
