Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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