I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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