is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
