Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
