I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
