It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
