I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
