I'm gonna have a badass scar
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
