I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
