i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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